Alright, I'll Play.... Stupid Clemens

THE MASTER QUIZ

Loss.

1. Forced to choose between the three, which would you rather lose: your vision, your hearing or your four limbs? Why?
Vision - Go watch that movie, y'know that one with Bjork in it.

2. If you ever lost your name, where might it be found?
At the altar - although I plan on hyphenating unless the other name sounds stupid with McKever so I suppose name tag relics from various crappy jobs over the years.

Gain.

3. You find a blank check, fully endorsed by a high-ranking executive at Microsoft and completely redeemable, lying on the sidewalk. An obviously needy street person snatches it and runs away. What do you do?
The person has "run away" according to the question, what more is there for me to do? Anyone who knows me knows I don't run, even for money. He/She can keep it and I'd feel great about that.

4. Happiness is subjective and often very complex. An ultra-swishy, Robin Williams type genie offers you guaranteed True Love, Financial Success or Fame - but the catch is that when you pick one, you will never find either of the other two in your lifespan. Which, if any, type of happiness do you ask for?
This question assumes that I have none of these three things, so I am confused. If I have one, can I pick another and keep both? Because if so, financial success (as long as that means free money) is what I'd pick. I have no desire for fame, and I've got the Love thing covered.

Sex & Love.

5. Love is like having your insides renovated by tiny gnomes with pickaxes: True or False?
False. The stomach flu is like that.... oh boy is it ever. Never want to do that again.

6. If your sex life had to be personified by two animals locked in mortal combat, which two battling beasts would best describe your experiences? Be honest: did you just pick two random animals or do your choices actually mean something?
It's pigs that orgasm all the time right? I think this knowledge comes from some other Internet "quiz/did you know" thing. So yeah, lets go with pigs. Pink, sweaty orgasming pigs. (you asked!)

Divinity.

7. If you were an all-powerful God required to choose a single tenet for your loyal worshippers to live by, what law would you pick?
Thou shalt not worship (I told you I didn't want to be famous).

8. Centuries later, other Gods start moving in on your territory. How do you stop them from stealing the faith of your people? HINT: Cool lightning bolts from heaven might be a start.
They can have their sheep, as long as these new gods don't require anything of me, I'm fine with a take-over.

9. Choose one: You are nothing and the world is everything, or the world is nothing and you are everything.
Right now, I am everything since I'm writing this quiz and ya'll are reading it. Look at me, look at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahhah.

10. If I told you that your answers to this quiz were all lies, would you ponder the meaning of truth? Or would you just go make French toast while thinking about what an asshole I am?
I would question the meaning of a quiz that solicits only lies. What kind of an asshole wastes other peoples time with something like that? (Then I would make tasty pasta).